My divorce: Joy in the morning?

It's been over 5 years since I posted a blog. 5 years. What a difference 5 years makes. Why start now, you ask? I feel that I have a story that many can relate to, but few share it. Recently I read a blog about someone who had had a miscarriage. She spoke candidly about that pain that lingered years afterwards, and after reading it I cried for a miscarriage I had almost two decades ago. Then I realized, divorce, like miscarriages, is one of those things we just sweep under the rug and hide away the pain, afraid to let people know that it hurts. That's not ok. If I hurt, I know that others are hurting too. I truly feel that God has asked me to put myself on the line so that I can speak into someone's marriage, or maybe pray with someone whose marriage is already broken. I know Daddy God restores broken hearts. At the risk of a 10 page blog, I am going to fill in some pieces, but not all, in hopes that if you need someone who's been there, who IS there, you can find a friend in me. I've been divorced for almost two years. Previous blogs can fill you in on how hard we fought for our marriage for many years, but eventually we found the fight to be in vain. In the two years since the divorce I began a job as a middle school math teacher, bought a house, remodeled the house, and learned to live as a single mom, juggling work, soccer practices, and even running my HOA. I am proud of who I am and, in all honesty, enjoy being single. I enjoy going to bed right when I'm tired and not feeling guilty about it. I enjoy budgeting and watching how God provides when it seems impossible, and I've loved the utter reliance on Him. I am strong. I am independent. I am woman...and I'm broken. Even though I know I fought with everything in me for my marriage, I still sometimes second guess the choice I made when I filed for divorce. In the years since, with my close relationship with Dan, even when my head told me we could never get back together, my heart hoped. Two years since our divorce, and still my heart hopes. Still I'm broken and fall apart when he speaks of seeing someone else. Why is that? Luckily, after talking with two close friends who have been where I am, I know that I'm not crazy. I am not alone. You, are not alone. Divorce hurts. Even when you're doing well, and happy where you are, divorce hurts. Even two years later, when people think you have it all together, divorce hurts. Which brings me to my point. Psalm 30:5b says, "Weeping may endure for a night, but joy comes in the morning." I would like to think, in fact I think ALL Americans would like to think, that this means the next morning, but I don't think that's true. Joy will come, but it may not be tomorrow. I also sometimes wonder if the Psalmist meant, "joy comes in the mourning." I know there have been times when even in the midst of my sorrow, I am able to sing out in joy. Must joy and sorrow be mutually exclusive? My challenge to you, whatever you face today is this: Praise Him even in the sorrow, maybe you will not only find joy in your mourning, but joy will still be there in the morning.