Make Me Lonely

You know that song you start singing while worshiping, until you stop dead in your tracks when you realize what you've just asked for. This song does that for me. It's called, "Keep Making Me" by Sidewalk Prophets.
 "Make me broken" 
 Ok, God. I've been here. I've been broken more times than I care to admit, but I feel that I've finally come to this place,
 "So I can be healed 
'Cause I'm so calloused 
And now I can't feel 
I want to run to You 
With heart wide open 
Make me broken" 
I've been broken. I don't want to continue to be broken. However, if this is God's will, I can walk through that valley again. God, make me broken.
"Make me empty 
So I can be filled 
'Cause I'm still holding 
Onto my will 
And I'm completed 
When you are with me 
Make me empty" 
Ok, God, I've got this one too. I've been to the place where everything I want my life has been emptied of. I have lost my husband, I lost the relationship I used to have with my kids, and, while I hate to admit that I struggle with this, I have lost the image that I have my life together. I have been emptied, and while it's not a place I like to be, God, empty me of myself, so you can fill in the hurt places.
 "[Chorus:] 'Til You are my one desire 
'Til You are my one true love 
'Til You are my breath, my everything 
Lord, please keep making me"
 No problem here, God, please do keep making me. Here comes the problem,
 "Make me lonely"
 Ok, God, this one's new. I have a big family. I moved from school to a home with roommates, to being married, and did not even experience being alone much until a couple of years ago. Even with being alone, I never felt lonely, until two days ago. I don't know what it was this year, but Christmas Eve was tough. I spent the day crying over lost traditions, missing my in-laws (who did, by the way invite me over), and mostly missing my kids and the Christmas Eve memories we'd made together. I went to a Christmas Eve service at my church and sat with hundreds of people. However, in that room full of people, I was alone. I was lonely. I don't like it. I want the rest of what this song says, "Make me lonely 
So I can be Yours 
'Til I want no one 
More than You, Lord 
'Cause in the darkness 
I know You will hold me 
Make me lonely 
 [Chorus] 
 'Til You are my one desire 
'Til You are my one true love
 'Til You are my breath, my everything 
Lord, please keep making,
I know You'll keep making 
Keep Making Me 
 Lonely sucks. I don't like lonely. So here is my prayer, God, if lonely is where you need me to be in order to make me the person you want me to be, help me to feel your arms around me, help me to know that in the darkness, I am never alone, and finally, help me to know that just being with someone, or in a room full of people, you are the only one who can assure me that I'm not alone--and in that, I will never be lonely. And God, just one more thing--please don't let me try to fill that loneliness with another man--until it's destined and ordained by you. God, please keep making me.